I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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