dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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