Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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