Buhtt sex?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
