I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
