I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
honey bunches of taint.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
