omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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