Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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