he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
