did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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