Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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