Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Randomize
