Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
