I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
