don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
