The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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