After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
