you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
