Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
