Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
