it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
