He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
