just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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