after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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