I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
