Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
