that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
