i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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