two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
worst night to have a conscience
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
