If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize