It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
