***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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