People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
