So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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