Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
