well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
