Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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