It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
