whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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