Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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