Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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