She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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