Pappa wants mamma naked
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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