dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
