"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize