my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
