quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
