Its about making memories worth repressing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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