The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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