dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just found puke in my bra..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I deserve this hangover.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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