So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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