the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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