when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
