mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
