I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
