i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
