So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
