i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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