forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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