somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
